The star in the mist

I write this on my way home from Roanoke, Virginia where I attended my very close friend's grad school graduation. Roanoke is a beautiful place with its rolling mountains covered in misty clouds. It was the first time I've been in a mountain range in quite awhile. Mountains are very healing for me.

One of the places my friend took me was an overpass that's well-known in the town. It's called simply "The Star" because of the bright neon star sign that can be seen by the whole town. You could not see the star last night though because of the incredibly intense fog that blanketed the area for an entire day. In fact, we couldn't see this massive glowing structure until we were right underneath it. My friend pointed to the overpass before us where all you could see was a dark wall of fog. Usually, she says, you can look out and see for many miles that stretch onward to the horizon. But not that night. That night we stared out at the inky blackness, swirling with grey mist.

We walked down a trail from the overpass that was so dark and fog-dense, I had to hold my phone towards our feet so we could see the path before us. The winding trail made me feel like we were walking through space, with spiraling galaxies of clouds making up some of the only textures we could see. We had to walk slowly and gently, mindful of every step but taking care to appreciate the scenery around us. The wind whistled through the trees with the occasional drop of water landing on our faces from the condensation on their leaves. It was so quiet, so still. "We're between the worlds right now", I thought curiously.

Walking back up the trail I knew we were close to "the star" because the fog became brighter, although you still couldn't see it's shape until it was right in front of us.

This little experience made me think of a few things. First of all, it reminded me of the curious nature of the soul and the importance of alignment and connection with the Divine Self. The Star is like that Divine Self, sometimes obscured in a dense mist until we seek it out and present ourselves fully right in front of it. As we make our way through the winding trails of our beings, sometimes pitch-dark, we must trust that every step is important in the process regardless of how much we can see before us. Do you know what your "star", your divine nature looks like?

On the other hand, it's also helpful to explore those parts of ourselves that may not feel so shining and divine. We walk the dark fog-dense path of the mysteries because some things just aren't visible until you put yourself right before it. But when we remember that star, that divine nature, we know that there's always a beacon guiding us back. The more you walk through the mist the more visibility is gained along the way. This paradox of the foggy night, the dark and bright complexities of the soul, are among the most fascinating of mysteries to me. They remind me of how important it is to walk with purpose, with desire, and with connection to our "star."

We are both the fog-dense darkness and the shining star. That's the beauty of this human experience. We get to be all of these things at once; the dread of night and the joyous awe of the brilliant dawn. Aren't we lucky?

*

Reflections on Pagan Coming Out Day

I'll make this short and sweet because I'm busy preparing for the DC celebration of International Pagan Coming Out Day. There's a fun phrase I just love to say this time of year and also during the LGBT coming out day:

"I've never seen the inside of a closet - broom or otherwise."

The reason why that flies out of my mouth so often is twofold. On one hand, its a fun way to be proud of the fact that being out and open is actually a good thing. The fact is, most of us don't have to sacrifice all of our well-being and sense of personal safety to live openly. We think we do, but in most cases we don't. Being proud of being out in this way is to lead by example. It's to say "see, its not so scary out here in the open. On the contrary, it's pretty rad!" On the other hand, it's a bragging tool. That second half is the reason why I have a close and interesting relationship with coming out days.

I have the privilege of age and upbringing that results in my never having to need a closet. When I began practicing Wicca in the late 90's as an itty bitty tween, I said so. In fact, I shouted it from the rooftops! I loved what I was doing and I was going to make damn sure that the whole world knew about it. When I officially knew for 100% certainty that I was gay (around 14), just a couple of years after starting my training in Wicca, I told the world all about that as well. For me, neither required a "coming out" because I wasn't inside of anything to begin with. I realize as I get older that this is not the case for most people. Most people my age who are Pagan now did not grow up Pagan. Although most Pagans my age seem to enjoy a general openness about who they are, I recognize that this also is not the norm. So coming out days for me are laced with a necessary realization of the privilege that's fallen upon me. Whenever I forget this privilege, I get into the dangerous area of becoming arrogant. That arrogance leads me further away from the empathy required to help others through their own coming out process. So instead of looking at someone elses journey as unique and of their own, I look at them through the lens and expectation of my own experience. Anytime we remove the individual qualities of another person, we invite the discord of assumption and ultimately discrimination.

My point is, we must remember that all of us come from a variety of backgrounds made up of family, generation, location, and a whole host of other factors that make up our present experience. To effectively support one another in the coming out process (and eventually the "pride" process, which is a little different), we have to recognize that the way we make these statements is unique to each individual, as it should be. Whether you shout it from the rooftops like I did or slowly let family and friends in on the info, we are all working to create a supportive and understanding world for ourselves and our Pagan culture as a whole. I write this not just to spur empathy within you, but to help me remember to practice it myself.

However you chose to celebrate it this year, I wish you all a happy Pagan Coming Out Day.

Book Review: Circles of Meaning, Labyrinths of Fear

It's been awhile since I've posted a review, although it's with good reason. I've just finished up reading three books over the past six weeks. One of them is this book by Brendan Myers, which is an impressive 483 pages long. But don't let that scare you! Myers' book Circles of Meaning, Labyrinths of Fear is absolutely worth the read.

This book guides the reader through the various forms of relationships that we humans engage in every day. Although some are more common than others, all of them have profound impacts on the way we communicate, think, and act throughout our lives. Myers does this through the symbolism of the labyrinth, the famed maze of classical antiquity that inspires both wonder and fear.

As the book examines those various relationships, Myers explains how the relationships can become unhelpful and toxic. The relationships become clouded with fear and our ability to make the most of them becomes lost. But like any good labyrinth, there is a way out. Instead of getting trapped in these "labyrinths of fear" caused by toxic relationships, we can shift our perspective in such a way that changes the dynamic of the relationship for the good of all involved.

I write a lot of reviews for books that feel very obviously Pagan. This book is less obviously Pagan, but I would very much recommend it to any Pagan (or any spiritual person for that matter). As a coven and religious organization organizer, I often find myself in situations where I must facilitate healing between various people or at the least, understand why a spiritual or friendly relationship went sour. Sadly, there are not many books out there that are helpful in educating Pagan leaders on how to grow relationships within a community in ways that encourage growth while also being helpful and mutually beneficial. So although you don't have to be a leader to find great use of this book, I will be especially recommending that it be read by all 3rd degree initiates within my tradition from here on out. Although you must of course identify your own relationship dynamics before you're all that well suited to help others.

In all, Brendan Myers wrote a stunningly useful book that I hope more people get the chance to read. Once you realize how deep you are in the labyrinth of fear, you can't help but be inspired to find the way out.

Book Review: Make Magic Of Your Life

This is probably going to be an obvious review for a lot of people as I don't think I've ever been displeased with work that T. Thorn Coyle has put out. To that effect, I was going to title this post "Thorn has done it again!", although that felt a bit too much like a newspaper advertisement. Anyway, I digress. On to the review!

I recently finished reading T. Thorn Coyle's fourth book, Make Magic Of Your Life: Passion, Purpose, and the Power of Desire. The theme of the book is exactly what the title makes it sound like. It is a guide to identifying what our deep desires are with instruction on how we might move toward those desires and manifest them into being. Thorn does that through what she calls the "four powers of the sphinx" which are to Know, to Will, to Dare, and to Keep Silence. Witch and magician readers will know those as the four points of the Witches Pyramid.

The first hat tip I want to give is in regards to the structure of lessons and the book itself. I found this system of working through those four powers to attain desire particularly clever. While most witches have heard of the Witches Pyramid and have probably worked with the points in theory, I haven't seen much in the way of using them in a tangible and structured process before. Another alternate title for this post might be "Forget everything you know about the Witches Pyramid, then read this book." So even if this particular work doesn't speak to you at this point in your life, you should at least give snaps for Thorn's ability to dust off an old and undervalued teaching of Eliphas Levi and making it accessible again.

In terms of the work itself within the book, I want to preface that just because I'm writing a review of it now doesn't mean that I've gone through all the work in it. Like Thorn's other books, this work is a continual process -taking months or even years to explore in its entirely. Or at least that's how I imagine it unfolding for me. Example: People often give me strange look when they ask me about Kissing the Limitless and I respond by saying that I've read it seven times and have been doing the work in it consistently for four years. I can see a similar process unfolding for me with this book too. A lot of these concepts and workings involve tightly-woven, self-told stories that need to loosened up a bit. They involve taking time to explore those things we've buried deep within us, bringing them to light. The practice of reaching for desire is the work of a lifetime. It will be interesting for folks who do the work within it to write another review after going through those processes.

However difficult the actual work itself might be, don't let that intimidate you. Make Magic Of Your Life is also packed with a number of helpful exercises to assist you along the way. The book titles these things as "Soul Support," which I've found very helpful in working through these powerful concepts so far.

Even though I haven't even scratched the surface of the actual work within this book, I already feel so inspired after reading it just once. On a personal note, I will say that I've always had a strange relationship with desire and what might be called "life purpose." I've always had huge yearnings to do big things with my life that the modern world likes to tell me I can't do for one reason or another. Example: You can't have a good, stable job that you enjoy without having a degree... oh really?  To me,  Make Magic Of Your Life is a book of rebellion because it shows you how to move towards desire by using your own heart as a map, not the instructions that are spoon-fed to us by the over-culture at a young age.

And for people who don't know what they desire? This book can help you, too! Using the first power of the sphinx - to Know - we can find the threads of our purpose that lead to that larger arch of our life's desire. That is what I loved most about this book. No matter who you are and where you are on life's journey, you can take up this work and put it to use right away.

As I move forward in the pursuit of my own desire, I know that Make Magic Of Your Life will be a constant companion on my journey.